Hi!  I’m Eva, a wife, mom,  and Christian that loves writing, singing, dancing, photography and film.  Thanks so much for stopping by my site!

I’m also an extremely lucky survivor of suicidal depression and anxiety.  

For nearly a decade, I regularly had weeks (sometimes months) where I continuously fought thoughts of hurting myself, others or of just abandoning my family.  I was sick.  It was only my faith in my eternal existence and my sacred roles as Mother, Wife and Daughter of God that kept me from taking my life.  Now those constant, debilitating feelings are fading memories.  I still have low moments every day, but if I start sinking into depression, I find my footing, push off the floor and swim back up to fresh air and a clear mental place.   Sometimes I don’t get to “fresh air” mentally as fast as I would like, but if I “just keep swimming” I WILL get there.  

I choose to see ALL the good I have around me, especially in the details and unexpected blessings that are easily to overlook.  I don’t have a perfect life.  I am BRCA-1 positive so I get mammograms every 6 months to make sure I’m cancer free.  Right now there are huge holes in the plaster in my bathroom ceiling since we live in a 125 year-old home we are trying to fix up little by little.  Since we live paycheck to paycheck, it will probably be that way for a while.  I homeschool my 3 kids too, so that comes with its own challenges.  I also struggled with Bulimia and Food Addiction when I was younger, something I’ve conquered but have to keep at bay.  I think it’s valuable to be vulnerable.  I choose to put those life’s experiences out there so others know they aren’t alone.    

But when I write about those struggles I don’t dwell on the hard stuff too long.  I can’t afford to because I feel emotions so strongly.  This is great for good feelings, but really painful for negative emotions.  I know dwelling on the difficult in life is the first step towards getting depressed again, and I SINK FAST.  For someone who is depressed, negative thoughts are an addiction.  And just like a recovering alcoholic wouldn’t walk into a bar, someone recovering from depression wouldn’t want to start pointing out all the negative in life if they wanted to stay sober.  So I do my best to SEE THE GOOD life has to offer.  

I’m real.  I’m not perfect.  But I try to be positive.

If this makes you feel worse, I’m sorry.  For a long time I didn’t accentuate the positive in my life because I worried it would make others feel bad.  But all that did for me was continue to lead me into more depression, and eventually make me incapable of taking care of my family.  I’ve got to be there for them, so I’ve got to be there for me.  The best way I can do that is by staying in a good mental place by remembering the good in the world around me through words, photographs, music, and film.  By taking care of my body and my family.  By trusting God loves me and that it will all work out in the end. 

“Uplifting Eva” is about uplifting both myself and anyone who journeys with me.  Please look at my books and music, as sometimes visual media or music just hits home and connects with us better!  It’s helped me SO MUCH when others have opened up about their darkest days.  It helped me see tragedies can happen to anyone, and can be overcome so life is beautiful again.  It’s also helped me to hear someone else’s positive attitude.  I hope I can do both here, share heartbreak and hope.  

There is so much support out there when we learn from each other! Come back often!  Share!  Comment!  Let’s connect, laugh and even cry (sometimes) through this journey together…