I completely lost it today. In a moment of stressful madness as we were running late, dealing with miscommunication, and some unexpected chaos, I hurried kids out the door. The first kid sprinted out the front screen door and the second trailed close behind, running right into the slamming screen door. Smack! Shock. Cut cheek. Loose tooth. Broken screen hanging off.
I lost it. I started blaming the first kid, yelling for an ice pack, complaining about them not listening or being ready when I asked them to, “Everybody’s grounded!!! No screens for a week!!!!” It was pretty ridiculous. And embarrassing. And hurtful.
For everyone involved.
And it was because of MY OWN insecurities. I could see my skewed thought process unraveling as I went through my personal blame-chain: “Why didn’t I teach them better to be respectful and obey? Why didn’t I protect them from injury? Why didn’t I get us out the door sooner so we weren’t rushing?” So much guilt and shame! And all from my own insecurities as a mother. I didn’t want to feel those fears so I was passing it on to them. I had to stop.
It took me some time to cool off, but then WOW! It felt sooooo good to be real with my kids and apologize and explain my weaknesses, my regret. Just because I was raised feeling a lot of guilt as a child, doesn’t mean I need to mother that way. I can change.
I CAN believe I’m a great mom and that sometimes accidents happen, because they DO. I will handle challenges so much better if I see the good in myself and believe in my efforts. I can choose to love myself and my kids anyway, amid those mistakes. I can be part of the solution instead of the panicking problem. I’m writing this so I’ll remember because it’s a lack of personal confidence that brings criticism. I want to be better than that.
So I’m taking a note for myself and for you: You ARE a GREAT MOM!!!♥️🌼👍