I’ll confess…I don’t support myself enough in my own goals. Like many people, I will sacrifice and give up things in order to give more to someone else. I will go without so others can have their needs fulfilled. And yet, I won’t do it for myself. And this is something I want to change. Because I deserve something more. And the Lord does. And I can’t be the best servant I can be to Him unless I’m willing to try harder and be better.
I’ve been struggling to eat right. Since I don’t get a lot of exercise in, making sure I eat well is crucial. Foods also REALLY affect my mood, so staying on track is important for the well-being of my whole family. I will do well most of the day and then start to make “exceptions.” Before I know it, I’m tired and cranky and disappointed in myself. Not a good place to be! Especially when you are a wife and mother!
While I was driving the other day though I head some lyrics (well, A LOT) that really hit me. This is the one I remembered today to that stopped me from continuing to eat “exceptions.”
Maybe tomorrow I’ll start over
Maybe tomorrow I will finally change my ways
Said the same thing yesterday
Don’t know why I’m so afraid
To let you in
To let you win
To let you have all of me
(From Mandisa’s song, “Waiting for Tomorrow”)
I want to let the Lord have “all of me.” I want to put off that Natural Man and become the woman I’m meant to be, I don’t want to be saying the same things every day…that I will finally change tomorrow. Personally, being in shape and not feeling helpless against food is really important. I hope to sing, dance & perform professionally again. That means I need to be comfortable in my body, strong and have high endurance…so being healthy is important. I also love that I am more active when I play with my kids, and I want to continue that too. They are worth it! Finally, eating until I’m uncomfortable or in pain is not the best use of my time! LOL I know practicing moderation brings peace and I want peace in my life.
So tonight, I remembered these words: To let you in To let you win To let you have all of me. And I was able to turn away from that food. 15 minutes later I had to tell myself those words again. I had already eaten, and was NOT hungry. But if leftovers are still out or the Halloween candy is on the counter, it’s just so easy to graze! But again, I don’t have to. I know that. And it feels so good to have the Savior as a partner in this goal towards overcoming the Natural Man and improving the quality of my life. I always want to be in control of myself, not matter the situation. And that is a personal goal worth achieving!
The first step of the 12 step Addiction Recovery program is Honesty.